All hope for Aaron Heilman among Mets fans passed away today after a lengthy struggle. Doubts first surfaced in the minds of Mets fans a few years ago, when Heilman was first transferred from the rotation to the bullpen. Fans watched in agony as Heilman suffered through repeated walks, hard hits, and scoring inherited runners. All of these are common symptoms of Inaffective Reliever Syndrome (IRS), which will from now on be called Aaron Heilman Syndrome. Heilman seemed to be recovering from the illness in the final three weeks before the All-Star Break. However, after the 3 day rest, the disease clearly returned in Cincinatti.
Hope in Aaron Heilman is survived by Hope in Duaner Sanchez, Joe Smith, Scott Schoeneweiss, Carlos Muniz, Pedro Feliciano and Billy Wagner. However, Schoeneweiss showed signs of an onset of the disease during his time on the mound following Heilman.